I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
