this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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