Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
wow bdsm is so cute
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
