I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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