I like my sex mixed with concussions.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
