Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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