I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
