Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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