Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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