And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
