fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
