I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
