just come out here and I will go home with you...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
