She's JV to your varsity
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
