Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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