thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
