its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
