whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
