I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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