Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
