That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
