yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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