this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
