no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
