Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
In America we eat man semen.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
