Don't you send me to vm
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
