I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
