Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
