I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
