I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
