my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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