Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
