i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
