it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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