Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
