when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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