worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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