hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Randomize
