we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
a search helicopter?!
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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