I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
