You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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