I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
