i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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