and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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