im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
