what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
