awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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