put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
