And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
