i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
