So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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