Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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