he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
