So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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